Grrrrrr...Learning Patience Is Going To Make Me A Patient!

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Romans 12:12

Waiting stinks.  Being patient stinks.  Grrrrr.  Every time we think we're going to have a definite answer to this job situation, it's met with MORE WAITING.  Very frustrating.

While dealing with this whole "Jon trying to get his job back" thing, it's been brought to my attention that I need to be learning more about being patient and waiting on God.  I don't know why He thinks that's best for me.  Sheesh, maybe because He's God and He KNOWS what's best for me.  :::sigh:::  Lately when I pray about our situation, or a specific meeting that's coming up, or something else specific relating to our situation, I get words in my head that tell me "be patient child, it will happen in My time...it will happen".  BUT WHEN GOD?  WHY CAN'T IT HAPPEN NOW?  WE HAVE BILLS, COLLEGE TO PAY FOR, A MORTGAGE, FOOD TO BUY etc., etc.  "I know all that and I will take care of you."  And He does, but that doesn't make this whole "patience" thing easy.  To quote someone elses blog...  "Patience is hard - it takes work, discipline and self-control. Someone once told me that God doesn’t grant us patience but gives us opportunities to learn patience."

I'm learning the difference between being patient and acting patient.  I've kicked and screamed, but I've actually given this to God a few times and it has made it easier.  I still have an occasional tantrum, which brings along frustration and mayhem, afterall I'm only human, but when I refocus and do what He's asking of me, it makes it easier to cope.  By switching my focus from "God, puhleeeeeeeease give Jon his job back, or puhleeeeeeeease bring Jon another job, or puhleeeeeeease move us to Reno" to "God, you know the desires of my heart and you know what we need, I know you will provide for us, please lead us in the right direction and cause us to do everything you want us to so we can be prepared to receive what you have for us, in your time."  :::sigh:::    Again, it is not easy to do this, but when I do, things fall into place and worry is replaced with peace and increased faith.  I alone have the ability to make things harder or easier for myself.  It's a choice.  Not an easy one, but a choice, nonetheless.

Today was a "bad choice" day, but tomorrow is a new day and I will try to do better.

Ah, patience.  I want it, now.