As May comes to an end, I reflect on both joys and disappointments. It started off heavy with Ian working hard to pull off graduating and Jon ending up in the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia, then turned happy with a great Mother's Day trip to Disneyland with Olivia, Max, and Meghan while Jon stayed home with Ian to recoop. More disappointment loomed as we learned Jon might possibly lose his job of 21 years with the City of Las Vegas IT Department. Happiness again as I ventured to Reno to be with my "bowlies" and watch our own Shontell graduate from college with her hard-earned teaching degree, which then turned to sadness and disappointment when I returned home and it was confirmed that Jon was laid-off. Also, during all this craziness, we decided that I would again home school Olivia, this time for 10th grade. Max is home schooled for middle school and adding one more will be a challenge, but definitely worth it. The month ended with Max enjoying his own visit to the hospital with a virus that he's STILL not over. This has been a roller coaster ride that I'm ready to get off of, which is weird for me to say because I love, Love, LOVE roller coasters and would ride them forever, only getting off to pee, then getting right back on. Well, I guess it's time to pee. :::sigh:::
Over the past few months, Jon and I have felt a strong sense that some kind of change was coming. It wasn't an uneasy feeling, but it wasn't comfortable either; however, there was a tiny bit of excitement. Little did we know what was ahead and that a test of our true faith was at hand. We're mid-life and totally unprepared for this loss, but ready for what lies in front of us. We have options, and possibly might move from Las Vegas. Something we've wanted to do for a very long time. We're praying for clarity and, now that the City door has closed, for another door ready to open with bigger and better things for us behind it.
Experiencing this "death" has been very traumatic for us, but has brought our family to a better place. We've been ripped of our comforts and are raw and starting fresh. It's making us be better parents to our kids, better spouses to each other, and better followers of our God. We are totally relying on Him, as we should have been all along. Once we realized we hadn't been completely dependant on Him while waiting for our news, we jumped off the edge with complete trust and things got much easier. You'd be surprised what prayer in the right frame of mind can do for you. We were no longer consumed with worry, we could breathe again, and the fear disappeared. Good things have started to happen and we're confident Jon will have work by the end of the summer.
In addition to supporting each other, we have both found tremendous support and comfort in our friends. Your "true ones" always come through for you during good and bad times and we definitely have an abundance of those kind of friends. You are all so wonderful to us, even with just words of encouragement. I am so thankful for my "Bowlie girls". My Reno trip really helped prepare me for what I was about to face at home. I knew getting on the plane Saturday morning that something big would happen for me that weekend. It was full of SNOW (which makes me happy regardless), great company, excitement, accomplishment of a friend's goal, happiness, good food at BJ's, love and prayer, bad bowling, and a bookstore terrorist guy. The terrorist guy had nothing to do with preparing me, but he was worth mentioning. It was a great weekend.
We're exhausted, but calm. A little scared, but excited for what the future holds for our family. All our lives are changing right now...Ian is getting ready to begin his new life as a college student; Olivia is blooming as a great artist; Max is Max, not really liking anything right now, but definitely loving school at home; and Meg, ohhh Meg. Every day brings something new with her. She's growing fast and is full of so much energy that it's hard to keep up with her! Jon gets to have his first vacation without the stress of having to get back to work when he goes to Knoxville next week with Ian to spend time with his parents. I get to take Meghan camping at the beach for a week, and Olivia and Max get some much needed rest and relaxing without the family around.
Our yearly camping trip at the beach has dwindled to just me and Meg, and we'll get to enjoy a whole week with the Baldwins. I can't wait to relax on the beach, with my pirate flag blowing in the wind, watching Meg and her friends play in the sand, and take walks with her and reflect...on the future.
