Knee-jerk...

11 days and counting...my right knee will finally be fixed!  I get a partial replacement and a new knee cap.  How cool is that?  They're going to resurface one part of my joint with titanium, so my airport security experiences will change forever!

It's been a crappy few years with this stupid knee.  My first visit to a doctor 2 years ago for pain that I had been experiencing for about 2 years, was just the beginning of a horrible ordeal!  If you live in Las Vegas and ever have knee problems DO NOT GO TO DR. CICHON.  He is NOT a knee doctor, but thinks he is.  I can't tell you how many people I've spoken with the past 2 years who had work done by him and were in worse shape than before their surgeries.  Well, include me in that group.  Anyway, I was in more pain following his work than I was prior to surgery.  I went a year and found another great doctor, who was able to fix the mess-up, but a fall a couple of months later undid all his work and there was nothing more he could do, other than replacement in the future.  It's been a year since that fall and the pain is so bad that I have to suck it up and do the surgery.  Luckily, I found out it doesn't have to be a total replacement, so my recovery will be a little easier, although I WILL have a 4" Frankenstein scar in the middle of my knee just in time for Halloween!

A couple of my friends and family members have had the total replacement, so I kind of know what to expect following surgery and what recovery will be like.  I did find out I"ll have a nerve block again...so great!  I'll also come home with a pain block for a few days...so great!  The dr. has a new surgery center and private care facility at his offices, so I won't have to stay in the hospital (I'm looking forward to that!).  Surgery is on a Monday, and I'll get to come home some time the next day.

I'm a little nervouse because it won't be quick and easy like my prior arthroscopics, but in a few months I should be pain free and moving like normal.  It will be weird to NOT have pain anymore, because I've had it for so long, but I'm soooo looking forward to it!

"I drive with my knees, other wise how can I put on my lipstick and talk on the phone?"  Sharon Stone

Mandatory Crazy

I have this friend, you see, who is crazy and wonderful and wild and wise and her birthday is the day before Halloween.  That explains a lot, of course.  Anyway, I was explaining things to my great-friend-group, of which she is a part, about what we're experiencing right now in our messed-up life and one of her responses was "Is there any crazy you can cut out that isnt mandatory right now?"  Oh Shontell, I want to be you when I grow up!

I heart that she is the kind of person who actually accepts that crazy can be a healthy part of your life and is able to determine what's mandatory and what's expendable crazy.  :::sigh:::  To be that grounded and see clearly enough to toss out the not-so-important crazy and keep the mandatory crazy and just deal with it is a gift.  It got me thinking...I'm crazy, my husband is crazy, my kids are crazy, yet we are not expendable, so clearly I cannot cut us out.  grrrrr.  What CAN I cut out, though?

The fear and uncertainty is crazy and consuming.  It has to go.  Complete faith in God and finding focus is also crazy, but a mandatory one.  It has to stay and be bettered.  Piles of laundry and unfinished projects around the house are crazy, some mandatory, some expendable. 

I was finding myself thinking today that, when I was 5 and skipping around the kindergarten playground with my other girlfriends, or playing dress-up and dreaming of the princess life I would have with my great prince husband, living in my fancy house and being chauffer driven around town, not ONCE was the crazy picture we are experiencing right now EVER inserted.  Unsual things have happened to us these past few months that have changed us forever.  We will never be the same as we all were prior to May 26th when Jon was laid off.  Max will never be the same as he was the day before the beginning of his hospital stay on June 6th. 

Parts of us have died away, new parts have been birthed.  Some of that is good, some is bad, but bottom line is we are different now.  We are also a mandatory crazy.

Jimmy Hendrix said "crazy is like heaven."

Hmmm.